Death in Storytime

Excerpt

Camille Pfister

Maggie scanned her ID card and opened the door to the waiting room. As soon as she stepped

through the door, Lucy was in front of her, baby Mark still in her arms. “What happened? Is Ben

okay?” Lucy asked, her eyes filled to the brim with tears.

“Mrs. Evans, come take a seat with me,” Maggie said, her voice soft. “Where is Ben?” Lucy

asked, her voice getting desperate. Maggie took Lucy by the arm and gently led her to a private

room. The nurses called these rooms The Room. The Room where you tell a family member

their loved one has died. The Room where you ruin lives. She closed the door, and Lucy sat

down on the closest chair, clutching her baby to her chest. “Where is Ben?” she repeated.

Maggie pulled up a chair to sit across from Lucy and took a deep breath. “Mrs. Evans, your

husband suffered a catastrophic pulmonary embolism post-surgery. Despite our best efforts, we

could not revive him.” Maggie took a deep breath again and looked into Lucy’s eyes, which were

overflowing with tears. “Your husband is dead. I’m so sorry.”

At the words, Lucy finally broke. She collapsed in a flood of tears, her wails filling the room.

The only thing keeping her body upright was the fact that she was still holding her infant child.

She clung Mark to her chest like he was her only lifeline in this tragedy. Maggie suspected that

he was. “What happened? He was fine!” she cried. “A pulmonary embolism. It is a rare

complication, but it does happen, and unfortunately, it put too much stress on your husband’s

heart. He crashed and died. Mrs. Evans, I am so sorry for your loss,” Maggie tried to keep her

voice cool and straightforward but still filled with the natural emotion she felt. It was a fine line.

Maggie grabbed a box of tissues and offered it to Lucy. She took a few and blew her nose,

dabbing the blotches of tears with the tissues. “Is there anything I can do for you?” Maggie

asked. Lucy looked at Maggie through tear-stained eyes. “Can you give me my husband back?”

she asked, her cracked voice barely filling the space. Maggie shook her head softly. “Would you

like to say goodbye?” she asked.

Lucy immediately shook her head before she looked at her baby. Mark had fallen quiet, laying

his head against his mother’s chest. Something that astounded Maggie when she became a

mother was how emotionally mature babies seemed. Whenever she was anxious or upset– her

babies could always tell. They curled up onto her or gripped her finger. It grounded her. And

Mark seemed to be grounding Lucy. In the worst moment of her life, Mark was holding Lucy

together.

Lucy gazed at her baby, kissed his head, and took a deep breath. “Okay,” she whispered. “Okay,

I’d- We’d like to say goodbye.” Her voice hitched, but she remained composed. Lucy was strong.

Maggie could tell just by looking into her eyes.

Maggie nodded and walked with her back to Ben’s room. Another thing Maggie learned during

her time as a nurse: once you leave The Room, everyone knows. All the other nurses looked at

Lucy with overwhelming pity. Some people avoid the looks and cast their eyes downward for the

walk, but not Lucy. Lucy held her head up high. She walked with strength and composure,

holding onto Mark, and kept her eyes ahead.

Maggie walked Lucy back to the last place she saw her husband alive and expected her to break.

Everyone did, when they saw the body, once full of life; now an empty shell. But Lucy just

paused at the door. Her breath hitched in her throat. She kissed her baby’s head and continued

onward. Maggie was astounded by the amount of strength in Lucy’s body– in her soul.

Benjamin laid, a sheet covering most of his body; only his head remained visible. Lucy

approached like a wounded wolf. Once powerful and commanding, now weakened by forces

beyond her control, she limped towards her lost partner slowly. She moved the sheet so she could

grip his hand and whimpered. “We’re... oh god... we’re gonna be okay, Benny... Benny, you

don’t have to worry about us, okay? We’re gonna be fine. I love you, you know that? God, Ben.

God, do I love you,” Lucy whispered, her hand gripping Ben’s cold one. She took a deep breath.

“But Marky and I, we’re gonna be so good, you’re gonna be so proud of us, Benny. I just know

it. Okay, Mark, just like we practiced, let’s blow Daddy a kiss.”

Lucy let go of Ben’s hand and gripped her son’s tiny hand. She lifted up her son so his head was

right next to hers. Together, they pressed their hands to their mouths and went “Mmm-uh!” Lucy

crumpled at that. She turned towards the door where Maggie was standing, tears streaming down

her cheeks. Maggie soon had matching tear-stained cheeks. “I uh... we practiced doing that for

when Benny was supposed to be starting his new job next week. I...” Lucy's voice trailed off. “I

never thought we would be doing it to say goodbye to him for good.”

Maggie offered some more tissues but mostly just stood there. Helpless. Silent. She had no idea

what to say. What to do. All she knew was that she couldn’t leave Lucy alone until Lucy asked to

be left alone. Lucy looked at Ben. Lucy looked at Mark. Lucy looked at Maggie.

“What do I do now?”

“You go home,” Maggie offered. “You put your son to bed. You call family– tonight,

tomorrow— you decide. You go to bed. Someone will tell you where your husband’s body will

be dropped off. Whenever you’re ready, it doesn’t have to be tomorrow, it doesn’t have to be this

week, you call Hayes Funeral Home and they’ll get you situated. I won’t go over everything

right now, cause it’s a lot, just remember Hayes Funeral Home. It’ll be in the packet.”

“I don’t know if Ben wanted to be buried or cremated... we didn’t talk about it,” Lucy mumbled.

“We should have... I guess... I guess we were expecting to survive.”

“That’s okay,” Maggie reassured. “Hayes Funeral Home has options for everything. Only funeral

home in town, gotta be open to anything. Just start with going home. You’ll feel better after you

sleep. Not good, but better.”

Maggie pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled a number on it. “This is the Nurses' Line here at

the hospital. If you call and ask for me, they’ll let me know you’re trying to reach me,” Maggie

gave Lucy the paper. Lucy looked at it, dazed. “I’m here for you... even after you walk out those

doors.” Lucy smiled, but the smile barely reached her lips. “Thanks, Maggie. You’ve been... I

just don’t know how I would have survived this without you.” Maggie waved Lucy off. “You

would have been fine. You’re a survivor, Lucy. You’ll survive this. It’s gonna hurt like a bitch,

though.” Lucy nodded, the smile dropping any pretenses of being there.

“I better get him home,” she whispered and walked towards the door. Lucy paused one final time

at the doorway and looked back at her husband. “Loved you yesterday, love you still, always

have, always will.” With those final words, Lucy and Mark vanished down the hallway, and

Maggie collapsed into the chair, weeping into her arms.

After she collected herself, Maggie managed to clock out and head home. She drove home in a

daze. It’s a miracle she didn’t wreck her car. She opened the door with a haphazard, “I’m home!”

The first person she saw was her husband, who came in from the kitchen. “Hey, hon!” he kissed

her cheek. “I didn’t get a response from you. I was worried. How was your day?”

Maggie’s worlds collided. In all the chaos comforting Lucy, she completely forgot that she never

responded to Jake’s text. How was your day? Oh, boy, wasn’t that a loaded question. Even just

being asked, with Jake looking at her, his head cocked, and his bright blue eyes so fucking sweet,

she was near tears.

“Oh, it was just a crazy day, I completely forgot to reply, I’m sorry babe,” Maggie replied, trying

to brush him off, in a casual, I didn’t spend all afternoon agonizing over your text, way. Maggie

shrugged off her coat and headed into the living room.

“The meeting went fine,” Maggie waved off the text. “Ms. Baker just hadn’t gotten to talk with

me because of my busy schedule, and wanted to check in with me, and how I’m doing with the

girls. She said the girls love storytime!” Not a lie, not the whole truth, it’ll work.

“Oh yeah,” Jake laughed, sitting with Maggie on the couch. “I’ve heard from both of the girls

that storytime is when they get to talk about you.” Maggie froze and took a deep breath. “Oh

really?” she asked innocently. “Apparently ‘mommy has the coolest job’ and that gets them

brownie points at story time,” Jake laughed.

Maggie took a deep inward sigh. “Hey, you okay?” Jake asked. “Yeah,” Maggie mumbled. “Just

a tough day at ‘the coolest job.’” Maggie held a sarcastic tone in her voice. She loved Jake

because he always knew when she was upset, and also hated Jake because he always wanted to

fix it. Fix her.

“Well, they are six. They don’t exactly grasp the nuances of being an ER nurse,” Jake chuckled.

Maggie didn’t. Jake shuffled closer to Maggie. “C’mon, tell me, what happened today?” Maggie

looked into Jake’s eyes, and just when she was about to tell him about Lucy— BANG!

“Lace? Hannah?” Jake pulled away. “Was that you two? Are y’all alright?”

Just then, Maggie’s two twin terrors— Lacey and Hannah— sprinted down the stairs and peeked

out from behind the door between the foyer and the living room. Maggie, despite the day she’d

had, couldn’t help but laugh. “What are you two doing?”

A barrage of giggles. Then... “MOMMMY!!!!!”

Lacey and Hannah sprinted directly into Maggie’s lap. “Oomph!” Maggie exclaimed. “Hey,

girlie girls. How was your day? Were you good for Daddy?”

“Yes ma’am!” they parroted.

“Lace, Han, Mommy was just about to tell me about her day!” Jake stage-whispered to get their

attention. They gasped with excitement. “Oh, Mommy, Mommy, can we hear about your day,

please?” Lacey asked.

Maggie looked at her family. She looked at her husband, who meant so well — too well— but

didn’t know what to say or do when she faced death on a daily basis. She looked at her

daughters, who were light incarnate, and she never wanted to dash their hopes or dreams that

there was good and beauty in this world.

“I met a baby today!” Maggie told them happily. Lacey and Hannah squealed. Jake looked so

pleased to see Maggie smiling. “His name was Mark, and he was so little...”